Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Let me be honest about these pug painting/drawings. When I was with Jen, in her apartment, everywhere I glanced, the apartment was decorated with pictures of fawn pugs. Her black pug, named Ozzy, was loved by everyone on the campus, so it was natural that everyone was sending her pictures, mugs, calendars...and so on.
After Jen died I heard her voice for a couple days, maybe even a full week. Now I don't hear her anymore. I have gotten a little frantic. Then, while walking my pug, named Bruiser, I had a startling feeling that Bruiser had been with me all along, in the apartment, staring out from mugs and calendars, and drawings. Could he be my angel?
My friend John says Jen is visiting him in his dreams. So perhaps she has left me and moved on to be helpful to others. I am going to rest from the search. I truly get it: that not every question will be answered. The best I can do is to just keep showing up.
watercolor and pencil with ink on map
about 9.5 x 11 inches