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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It is darker inside me, than out.

I think I am a nice person. I enjoy my life. But painting happy pictures bores me to no end.
It's taken me MONTHS to do this series... "Where to find Joy"... I set myself out to paint 50 of these small canvasses LAST FEBRUARY!!!! This painting, a heart with soggy wings, in egg tempera and metallic acrylic on canvas panel, is number 30. You'd think I could do better. You'd think I could make a list of the things I love and illustrate them. But I have been stuck. I just finished watching Frida, a favorite movie of mine, and realize it is all about painting your soul, what is inside you that matters. Joy is not in the things you do or have. It is not in the way things look. It is a movement, a symphony, a smell, and maybe a color. When I painted this heart I thought of the flutter sound of a flock of ibis overhead, the punctuation of a palm tree in the landscape, the heave of a chest in lovemaking, and the radiance of clouds at dusk.
(Collection of S. Wood)
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