There is a push and pull dynamic to the actual signing of papers... first you don't want to do it, then you do... first he wants you to want to do it, then he wants you not to want it. We both move through minimal to major demands and hopefully, eventually, to somewhere in the reasonable limits of what's at stake. Tonight I want to scream out the windows, "For God's sake just sign the #*@! papers and lets move on!!!!"
In the last few days I have been in the new company of brave incredible people who have faced worse challenges with a lot more dignity. They are inspiring and a source of strength for me. This really isn't so bad... first and formost, the kids have to know they are loved. I feel the faith of my God and am blessed with a creative language to express myself. So I feel safe. I miss my sons.
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